How To Forgive Yourself And Others
Achieving peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. The ability to forgive requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. You also have to accept that forgiveness is an option.
Whether you’re trying to correct a small mistake or a mistake that affects all areas of your life, the steps you need to take to forgive yourself will look and feel the same.
A very wise man once said that refusing to forgive is like drinking poison in hopes of killing your enemy. Most of us are taught from childhood that after apologizing, the most expected and correct answer is forgiveness. However, this is often not the case. For many of us, accepting apologies and making progress can be difficult. Apologies may seem cheap and too simple.
How do we know if they are sincere? We want perpetrators to do more than just say. We often want it to hurt the way we do. Like it or not, most of us have also been taught since childhood that punishment for wrongdoing is fair and just. So we are in a difficult situation; should we choose forgiveness even if it does not fulfill our desire to also compensate for the result?
The answer is yes. There is a big difference between forgiveness and justification. And forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget either. What many of us fail to realize is that the refusal to forgive does more harm to us than ever to our tormentors. Conversely, forgiveness also brings healing and benefits to us more.
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness means letting go of anger, resentment, and resentment. It means giving up any desire for revenge or vengeance. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves and our well-being, more than for the welfare of those who have wronged us. Rather than apologizing or justifying the abuse, forgiveness allows us to break free and move forward freely and easily. It relieves our emotional stress and has many positive effects, both mentally and physically. Some of these effects are:
- A closer and more rewarding relationship
- Reduces stress and anxiety
- Lower blood pressure
- Sleep better and more peacefully
- A better immune system
- A more positive outlook on life and the world
The most important effect of forgiveness is that we can let go of the past and live in the present. When we have hatred all the time, we also hold on to our past. What’s worse is that we cling to negative events in the past that we keep playing on in our minds. Living in the moment has many physical and psychological benefits that we cannot enjoy if we do not forgive.
How to forgive others
The main reason why we find it difficult to forgive is that we are still angry with those who hurt us. Even if that person has apologized and we hold back his anger, it’s impossible to take the necessary steps to forgive. So the first step is to look at yourself and determine why you are still angry.
The incident happened in the past; why are you still holding on to it today? What does this anger do to you and your daily life? How much better would you feel if you managed to let go of all that anger and leave it in the past?
Then look at the person you need to forgive. Realize that this person is the same as you, Understand that people make mistakes, and that’s what this guy did. Think about what could have happened in a person’s life that would cause this error.
Find compassion for seeing the person as doing the best they could at the moment, remembering everything that happened at that time. Disconnect the person from action. Realize that to forgive the person, you don’t have to apologize for the action.
When you find the compassion to view this person as someone else who made a mistake, you can let go of any anger you still feel. Once anger is gone, resentment and the need for revenge will come with him.
If the person has apologized, accept sincerely, and be grateful for the opportunity to improve your relationship with them. If no apology is given, understand that this person is not ready.
However, this doesn’t stop you from being ready to forgive. When you are ready, it is important to actively forgive. If it suits you, let the person know that you have forgiven him. This will be the most rewarding and beneficial type of forgiveness. But even if you don’t want to express your forgiveness directly to the abuser, you can heal yourself by expressing your forgiveness privately.
You can write it down, say it out loud, or repeat it quietly in your head. It will take some time for all of this to happen. Don’t be in a hurry or be discouraged. Above all, don’t judge for yourself whether it is taking longer than expected. No matter how long it takes, what matters is that you have committed to forgiving. Be grateful that you have taken these important steps to get the healing you need and deserve by working to forgive.
How to forgive yourself
Sometimes it is more difficult for us to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. However, the steps you need to follow are the same. Start by realizing that it is good to make mistakes. You have learned to accept that others are wrong. Now accept that you too. See without an assessment of the incident and what caused it. Think about how you felt at that time.
Investigate what is happening in your life that could cause you to act this way at this particular moment. Admit that you made a mistake. Understand that you are human and you will make mistakes; It’s natural to realize that your mistakes are separate from yours and that you don’t define who you are. Learn from the situation and determine how to avoid such mistakes in the future.
Assess yourself as you try to learn from what happened. Be grateful for this opportunity to become a better person. When you forgive someone you did to someone else, apologize to that person if you haven’t. In the same way, apologize to yourself if you have been hurt by your actions. It may seem strange to apologize to you, but it is a very important step.
The next step is even more important: you must actively forgive yourself. Say it in your head or out loud; You may have to do this several times before you can truly forgive. Once you do, you can go ahead and leave this incident from the past where it belongs.
Now that you know the benefits of forgiveness and the steps you need to take to bring it into your life, identify the people you need to forgive. Just starting the process of eliminating anger and resentment from your life will give you some of the physical and psychological benefits discussed. Remember, forgiveness, like anything you do, takes practice. The more you make it a part of your daily life, the easier it will be, and the more you will benefit from it.
Forgiveness is important in the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other emotion you may be experiencing and passing on.
Once you know how you feel, vote up, and accept that mistakes are inevitable. You will see how free forgiveness is.